Saturday, June 10, 2006

Lifes up and downs and all arounds



If pictures are worth a thousand words what does this one tell you?
9 am
Yes, the proverbial roller coaster ride was what the day was like. The day started with the #2 Son calling to set a date with me for dinner with both Sons at a German restaurant in Clackamas, Or., Just north of me 15 mi. or so. I'm thinking this will be a nice place to talk and have dinner without blaring music or kids screaming. I'm excited he was making the effort and making it happen, What a guy! Although I know the potential to be sad could be there too.

About 9:30 or 10ish the baby Sis calls and needs my help. See after 8 or 9 years of her life she has finally had enough with her boyfriend. Oh and she has valid reasons for leaving and probably should have restarted her life years ago. We all stay in relationships longer than we sometimes should hoping things will get better. At some point we feel like the emotional basket is really empty and choose a new life over being unappreciated and used.
So I rush to her aid and we load a mere 2 truckloads of her things and leave peacefully. I wish I could have been more spiteful but I seen her hurting and I know it wouldn't have made her feel better. I will say he was a jerk to her though!
She told me of a new pair of cheap 10 dollar tennis shoes he paid for a week or so ago. Funny these are the exact same shoes she wore yesterday to do the walking into her new unfamiliar life and justly so. YaY!

Never stay with someone that won't participate with you in family functions or has no want to be around your family. I still have no idea how we offended this guy and made him not want anything to do with us.

We were always willing to welcome him into our lives and we were rejected again and again. Maybe he is lacking the family love gene and needs therapy, But it mostly told me he has some real skeletons in the closet and didn't want to get close to anyone and be forced to face it or have someone find out. Sad I don't see him changing anytime soon. Good luck to the woman he's seeing now, OH, I forgot there is no other woman, So he says. Maybe he's not lying...Maybe its a man? In today's world it totally could be.
I love my baby sister and I wish I could make her hurts go away, I want her to have the best that life can offer. But mostly, I want her to have an equally loving relationship with a guy that loves her as much as she's willing to love him. He's out there don't give up and keep your chin up. It's all uphill from here.

Anyway enough wasting time on him, This was a high point of my day I was retrieving my baby sister from a bad relationship.
Having a son move away on the same day the low.
Hence my roller coaster ride.

My 2 boys and I had a very nice dinner together in the restaurant, No kids crying and only soft polka type music and the occasional loud thump of a car on the freeway below. Both the boys are such gentlemen now and I beam with pride just being around them, Yet the youth peeks out from time to time and I still feel the need for moms love. I loved every minute with them and wouldn't have traded it for a million bucks. And I managed to not cry like a baby till later and now I'm done I hope.

I'm still trying to get a grasp on the move to Vegas and the need for a totally different life, But I wouldn't have let anyone stop me from making my choices and I'd never expect any less from my kids. He's looking for something and I guess he'll know when he finds it. I have the faith that my prayers for him will be answered and he'll be safe and find the answers he's looking for.

It was good to have my arms around the #1 son again too, I hate that he had to go home so soon. Thank you April for sharing him again, I miss you both.

My day ended with the Mr. coming home albeit his plane was late but worth the wait, he sensed my neediness and was there for me from the moment he seen me. He was just what I needed, I love him.

And today I'm drained, I napped and showered and dressed late. I needed the mental R&R....

4 Left A Love Note :):

Marianne said...

Oh wow. What a guy your Mr. is. He came home cause he knew you needed him. That is total love.

Ugh, I am reading your post and feeling your pain. The hardest part for me was hearing my mom tell me she loved every second she had with me and how she loved sitting on the couch and holding me. That's what made me think of the day she held my hand when I was so scared going to the doctor.

Your #2 has memories like that, I am sure. And he is taking them with him. And he is only a phone call away.

And MAJOR kudos to your baby sis for making the break.

Jeannie said...

My (older) sister had a guy like your baby sis's. What a jerk. His grandchildren called her Grandma but he wanted to have nothing to do with her family whatsoever. If she was having a dinner with friends and wanted her family there too (including her children!), he wouldn't go. I told her a number of times to tell him to F* off but I guess there was something there. I don't recall why they eventually broke up. In any case, I think he's dead now of cancer. Your sis did the right thing. I'm quite certain it's a control thing - to isolate them from loved ones or have them make difficult choices.

I feel your pain with both your boys away now. Vegas is pretty enticing tho.

D.T. said...

That's really what family is all about, no? Being there for one another. You being there for your sister...your husband being there for you...just that kind of support and love is what makes a family function. Too bad your sister's boyfriend never realized he had that with you guys...

Sweetilicious said...

Marianne, Well it is true he came home but he was already scheduled to come home and for me to meet him at the airport. But that doesn't lessen the fact that he knew I needed him and he was there for me the instant he saw me. He's a good guy!
I hope all my kids have good memories like that, I they don't I sure hope to know about them so I can work them out.

And the Baby Sis, She's still hanging in there. It's tough though, He is working her with the feel sorry for me thing and saying the dog and cat miss her. I can't be the one in the middle but it would take a hell of a lot more than that to get me back. Something like a 360 degree turn around.
(Stay strong Baby Sis and find a good life where you are happy.)

Jeannie, Vegas is pretty inticing...yes, But can be really lonely too. It's a much more transient town than one might think. Just when you get used to something one way someone will jerk the proverbial rug out from under you. It's just about that cut throat. That is why the grief on my part. He just doesn't need that or expect it I'm sure.

David, Yep, he doesn't know what he was missing. And yes, that's what it supposed to be like. Too bad so many people never get to experience it first hand, It's a good feeling to know your family is there for you. But then too you have to be receptive to it also, and not reject it with every excuse under the sun too.