Tuesday, February 27, 2007

If I followed you home, would you keep me? ~Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

...Ick, the pick up lines, the games, The drama. Thank goodness I have the Mr.


Have you looked back into your life and because hindsight is 100%. Looking for clarity, you find yourself calling on it from time to time out of habit.
...It's a familiar feeling, only it's happening to someone else and you recognize it almost instantly. ***Warm Fuzzies***

What is it that makes or breaks a relationship?

For me I like to have freedom to think how I like, support to accomplish my hearts desires, and a caring individual to appreciate and cherish my love and trust.

The Baby Sis and I discussed the needs in a relationship and necessity to come into it ready, without past bonds interfering, I call it cleaning your house so to speak.

We all had them, Many move on, and before even moving on by emotionally disconnecting, Some are forced to move on by no choice of their own. Either way you have an emotional house and it's your job to square it away, give it up, and clean out the no good and purge the crap. Emotions sometimes can make us hold onto things that baby-sit our emotions until we feel stronger.

Some are stronger than us and some never move on.

Empowering ourselves with a myriad of new firsts, new endeavors, and being true to ourselves, makes for the strength we need to be emotionally available, also known as the fresh start to some.

Sometimes this stage is almost complete and must be nurtured in a friendship to achieve full strength, one must be willing though to want the same things and together it should come easy and if not, This is like an old bathtub ring, you don't like it, you don't need it, It's embarrassing and if it's left there it just builds up more and gets harder to clean. and it's apparent to you and all around you that your wasting your time and you should have cleaned it a long time ago.

If it's always hard...figure out why and fast...Red flags are your friend...listen!

I believe that one must experience all the past relationships and learn from them. They make us what we are today. Mostly we learn to appreciate things about the new person we are with because we now know what we don't want, or need more of, or must have.

When you first experience a relationship that you'd give more than you ever gave to another emotionally and they give the same back...you know its right.
(AKA the Egg Basket)
Provided the other is ready, willing and able to match or exceed & even the replenish filling of the egg basket back up as you give the eggs to the relationship.

When you would protect your love and your emotional house from all that would try to bring it to it's demise, you know it's right.

If it's not worth defending, move on.

When you can't walk past the one you love without a gentle touch, rub, or caress without a thought and yet you can sit in the same car or room for literally hours and talk at no end about anything and everything or not speak a word and still enjoy confidence that your OK and just enjoy the silence and togetherness, you know its right.

When you feel they still can make your heart race and it's not the caffeine but rather an excitement of anticipation to see them again...you know it's right. Sometimes still just the sound of the Mr.s truck coming home makes my heart pound a little harder.

Now over the past few months, I have held the baby sis's hand emotionally. Through some funny and forgettable frogs that never even made it to the Prince status or even for that matter making it to a 2nd date (she should have wrote a blog)...(Next with a finger snap), I did so willingly and cared deeply about her well being. She has been speaking a lot with reservation, a tune of familiars to me, a song of falling, hook, line and sinker...and yet scared the other house is not clean enough. Oh that feeling of uncertainty. Time will tell.
You know it's right with you when you give it that chance.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

A bit of TMI, But with interest.

February has been designated by me as my "I love Me month." It's the month I get my annual ladies exams such as the pelvic, and Mammogram.
This year I was able to get the new high tech. Digital Mammogram. I pray it all is good and I'm sure will live on the edge till the results are in, I know...
not the example I want to set. But it's real...

I, like all inquiring minds, I wanted to see the difference so I looked at mine, Oh my gosh instant anxiety, all these bright white splotches and more in one than the other, then of course they tell you they can't tell you anything. My distraction to this torture is it's digital and being the digital photographer that I am & long to be, I'm interested in the difference.

So here it is. This is not me...Only an Example.



Faster, Better Quality Exams

Digital mammography allows radiologists to view the x-ray images more closely, zeroing in on areas of concern. Digital mammography exams take less time than traditional film-based exams and the radiologist may review the images while the patient is in the examination room. Images can also be sent instantaneously to other reading stations on the digital mammography network to facilitate second opinions as necessary.



The Pelvic Exam is tomorrow. Wish me Luck.

Now Go get a Mammogram...Please.

***Update***
Mammogram Results~No sign of Cancer. YaY!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Jeannie's requested Meme



To the little yorkie dog turned big, my pocket puppy that's now to heavy for me to carry around. She's my little lover with a heart as big as she is, She brings me toys to comfort me when I feel icky, she begs snacks from me so I don't eat all of them. She loves Bananas, pretzels, popcorn and chicken.
Favorite games are keep away, steal the dog treat, and tug o' war.
She turns 1 on Tuesday. Yay! Happy Birthday Em.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Saturday, February 10, 2007

She was One Classy Lady...


I have been giving this post a lot of thought today because the person I'm writing about.
Today was a sad, sad day for many people that knew Barbara Blacklaw. We came together to remember her with a lovely service and a reception that was done just the way she would have had it if she'd been there. People came from long distances to be there for this. I'm so glad that so many turned out for her and the Blacklaw family.

Barbara Blacklaw was known for her love and promotion of the American Saddlebred breed and her affiliation with the NWSA (North West Saddlebred Association)
Saddlebreds were her life beyond her love for her husband Bill.

I however remember her from my years at the Chez Moustache Restaurant back in the early 90's. Barbara and Bill came to our (I say that like it was mine, it wasn't) restaurant for the food and family feeling with class that we provided to our customers.

I remember them coming in and having Big To-do's, You always knew that Bill was around by the smell of a cigar, We made exceptions just for him. The parties would start just after opening and sometimes go into the wee hours of the morning. It sometimes got pretty lively, Food, Drink, and many friends.
I miss those times.

Chef Gene Kretz would fuss to no end to prepare a meal that was perfect for them. He told me straight off the bat, When Barbara and Bill come in you make sure they get the Chefs special booth and I did always. At first I was intimidated by them but grew to love them just as everyone else there did.
Never did a Christmas or a holiday go by that the girls (the wait staff) didn't get a gift of some sort in appreciation from them. They were Pure Class.
Barbara was always warm, kind and respectful, Very pleasant to be around. She would always put her arm around you and wasn't afraid to show her affections.

Now our lives crossed later also, The Mr. being a Show Shoer of course had shod at their barn, as an apprentice at the time to Delver Gianella. So then I came into the picture and there they were again, much to my delight, Barbara and Bill old acquaintances, more like old friends...You can't serve someone dinner after dinner and not become friends.
Now it's been 12 years of Horseshows for me and her smiling face was one I always looked to see at every show. She will be missed by many, and was a Legend in her own time.


Click the album to view

Rest in Peace...
Barbara Blacklaw
2/5/1939-1/26/2007

Thursday, February 08, 2007

It's my secret...


I have a secret...I'm sneaking out on Tuesday nights to Weight Watcher meetings.
Although I won't tell you my weight, Some say I don't look a pound over 160. Clothes are marvelous things but summer is coming and I can't stay covered up forever. My low back woes have me limited to small amounts of exercise and so the eating part has to change.
It's been almost 2 weeks, I weigh in every Tuesday. But in 1 week I lost the 5 pounds I expected to lose and it's feeling like I've lost a little more already this week. Much to my delight, I realized that my eating habits were really not as bad as I thought I'm actually eating more than I used to...Go Figure.
I have to admit I enjoy fruits and veggies so that's not bad, But I am also a baker and that's a little tough but I can do it. I'll just reward myself once in a while.
Tonight we (yes my Mr. has been doing it right along with me) had pizza, On whole wheat tortilla with pizza sauce, turkey pepperoni and fat free cheese. Also the sliced Canadian bacon cut up in chunks is good the same way with pineapple. the beauty of this is that you can eat the whole pizza yourself and it's equal to 1 slice of regular pizza and not near as greasy. For me that means less heartburn. Nice.
Maybe I can stir up some challenges or be inspirational or something.
Any bites?

Friday, February 02, 2007

I'm Tagged again, Toys Meme

First of all let me tell you I've wrote this blog entry 3 times and each time I.E. decided it needed to close, WTH, GRrrrrrrr. It peeves me to no end.

I wrote a post back in March of 2006 on my favorite childhood toys and times. I have much more to share albeit probably very boring to read. The nice thing about a blog is you have a captive audience that can click you off when you are boring and nobody gets hurt. It's win~win.
Spin Art
It was highly entertaining, nothing ever came out the same, it was the precursor to the tie dye era in my book. I remember making my first T-shirt with a wet spin art card and thinking Wow that's really cool. LOL.

Dawn Dolls
Now these were the dolls to have and in my neighborhood all the girls had them. We traded them like pokemon cards to get the theme doll you really wanted. Most of the time they were dolls that looked like you only cooler. We played with the Little Kiddles and Barbies too. GI Joe was always the Dad.
I had neighbors at that time whom were girls, All girls in one household, Fun for me, they had all the cool toys and dolls. Their names were Pamela, Arlene, Sonya, and Jimmy Fields. Yes, Jimmy was a girl, her dads last ditch effort to claim a male offspring that failed and she got the name anyway. Their Dad was in the Air Force and was Stationed at Nellis AFB in Las Vegas. He also introduced my mom to a fellow serviceman that made my life a living hell, But that's another story in itself.
Anyway Pamela and I were best Friends, We did lots together, she would come and help me with my chores just to be with me. She was great! We would play with the Mod Dawn dolls until her dad would beckon a loud holler or whistle and she'd jump and go home. He was strict and I'm sure she got a couple of beatings or whoopin's from him a time or two.
She had a strong southern accent, really cute, long blonde hair. We looked like sisters and played it up at times too. She moved or was re-stationed in Pensacola, FL. and wrote maybe 2 times and then I never heard from her again. Sad Huh?

At this time Mom had a love for little black babies or Negro babies as we struggled to call them what they wanted to be called at the time, even then we didn't know. I remember asking a black friend of mine what do we call your color and not offend you and she said: "who knows" she was just as clueless as we were. We were damned if we did and damned if we didn't. As friends we never were aware of the difference, People made us aware and it was the black people that did it in our poor low income neighborhood.

Anyway, Mom thought they were cute. So cute in fact that, that year Santa brought me a Negro baby doll, I tried to like her, but was teased relentlessly by every kid that seen me with it. I hid the doll and mom would say where's your doll? Finally I lost her, On purpose...I think I gave her to a black friend and told her to never show it around my house. Do you see what childhood teaches children? It was cruel.
Now the next thing I can remember was the controversial Barbie with her matronly pooch, All the parents were up in arms about how could they make a pregnant doll?


Needless to say I never had one, But, I wanted one. That was a dream I lived for, to be a Mom and have a happy family, raise kids, have a house with the proverbial white picket fence and red and white checkered curtains in the kitchen window. To me that was the ideal life. So what could be so wrong with this doll being pregnant?
Well, it was them coming out of the sexual revolution (My parents were too tame for this) and hoping the pendulum would swing back just a bit in the other direction I'm sure.
I can still remember a Hippie moving in on our street, and Mom making us walk way out of our way to go around where he lived. Everyone one said he was a marijuana and hash smoker and he partied all night. Don't go near him, like it was contagious or something. I seen a naked girl running in and out the door screamming at him and never told a soul til now. I always wondered what happened to him. He was there only a short time and nobody knew him well enough to know where he went.

The Lullaby Baby

She was my favorite doll of all time, She was all plastic with glass eyes that would close when she was laid down and had a pull string that played a lullaby song. While the music chimed away her head would move and it looked like a baby moving in her little blanket. I as an adult bought one to replace the one my evil brothers ruined by pulling the string out so far that it broke. Even then, they couldn't keep their hands off what didn't belong to them. They'd either break it or steal it.
Now I have her again and she's stored away but she works.
~Ebay to the rescue of childhood memories.~
Now I still have other dolls from that era, 5 as a matter of fact. But no Chrissy doll or her cousin with blonde hair and I can't remember her name.
I'd love to have the one that crawled to show to the baby sister. It was her favorite, and that was what taught her to crawl. She emulated this doll. But then moved on to Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls and Sea Wees (mermaid dolls). Which after too many "Chuckie" movies she hates most dolls now. Thanks Chuckie.

Cabbage Patch Kids
I own or have adopted 3, Mostly remnants from my children's past. But one was bought for me and paid for by my daughter. She was very young and the Corn Silk one had just come out and there was a long blonde haired one that I wanted. Well, I got it for Christmas and still have it along with the Baseball cards that the #2 son gave me also.

I'm tagging April She still owes me the story on the easy bake oven she got for Christmas last year and anyone else that want's to share.