Friday, September 07, 2007

What if?


Why is it when you’re faced head on with someone's death that we step back and become so profound or we immediately question, what if?

A younger Brother of the Mr.s, Pro Steer Wrestler: A young Farrier with so much potential and with true grit. All around great guy to have on your side, A BIG heart, He would pound the living crap out anyone who hurt someone he loved. Yet bring home every stray this and that, that he could find.

Always had a funny story, a good or bad joke to tell just depended on the day. Hair lip and dirty jokes were his favorite not to make fun of anyone but to bring laughter to his audience whom ever they were.

He had an accident with a horse during a shoeing, A non thinking, back yard horse with little or no hands on, I'm sure, Reared up while he was shoeing and came down on his head with its hoof and crushed the left side of his scull in. He was life flighted to a hospital after some time of the people just standing there wondering if they should even call the Dr. (yet another incidence of stupid ness)
That was almost 2 years ago.
Now lately he'd been having some blackouts & memory lapses and seen the Dr. the news was not good. More surgery was required the plate did not adhere and his life as he knew it was in Jeopardy. Not having insurance, Barely working he knew he couldn't afford it. He made a choice to work as long as he could and go for broke.
What I haven't told you is he had an alcohol problem also, and after this it became very apparent it was only getting worse. He would binge drink and then abstain for a time.

Now with many bridges burnt, but repairable, with the slightest amount of progression towards abstention from alcohol. Everyone loved him. If only he could have helped himself just a little bit.
We never gave up on him and I told him regularly. But he gave up on himself and his life he took.
That's 2 I've lost to either drugs or alcohol in my life. 2, too many.
It's a A permanent solution to a temporary problem and we all lose greatly.

I can't believe he's gone forever...We'll miss him terribly.

"Squeak"
8/4/78-9/5/07

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3 Left A Love Note :):

Jeannie said...

How sad...really.

My kids have lost 2 friends - and both had so much potential - both were capable of going professional in their hobbies yet they weren't even out of high school. Everything to live for yet they ended it.

I'm so sorry.

Liliana said...

So sorry Sweeti, really sad =(

Marianne said...

Sweeti, if I could reach thru the computer screen and wrap my arms around you....I would.

Two years later I am still mourning the loss of someone close to me, by his poor choice.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and the family.